Just because...

Just because you can reach it does NOT mean you have to sniff it or lick it!

Kibble

It's better than starving.

Bark and growl

While your bark and growl may be intimidating, I can silently cut off your food supply.

Quit smelling that

Quit smelling that, you're the one that left it there!

Bitch

Quit being a bitch!  Oh, right, sorry...

Indoor plumbing

Yes, but I'm the one that pays for the indoor plumbing.

Brain size

If your noggin' was bigger, your brain might be bigger.

Wearing pants

If I have to wear pants when we go outside, then you have to wear a leash.